“Each moment does not have to match your expectations of what you think it should be. Each moment is perfect being what it is. Every moment of time is a whole new moment – a jewel.” (John Kehoe)
I still can’t quite get my head around the notion of expectations. Is it a good thing to have them or not? Do they have any positive value? How do you stop yourself from expecting, instead of experiencing?
What I have learnt (and am still learning), is that expectations can ruin a moment, a friendship, a relationship – because you very rarely allow someone or something to just be. We approach people with a certain expectation of who they should be to us, how they should behave, how they have to treat us, how we need them to be – to fit into our idea of the world. We want everything to be perfect – to match our expectations. And, it very rarely is. Sometimes its more, but we are so busy waiting for it to match our criteria, that we miss it.
I’ve made so many incredible and unlikely friends on my journey, each because I allowed myself the freedom to be in the moment. When I allow myself to be open to whatever life presents, I walk along the street and start talking to a shopowner in Kathmandu, and he eventually invites me in for a cup of tea… I take the opportunity. After countless cups of tea, he becomes my friend, we have great enlightening conversations, he calls everyone he knows to try and help me with my Indian visa, and he cooks me one of the best Indian meals.
I regret the moments, the opportunities, the people that I’ve missed along the way, because I was so busy looking elsewhere. They say life is too short to have regrets, but they do serve a purpose. It makes you realise that you should grab opportunities as they come along, stop thinking and analysing and trying to create the perfect scenario for your life to play out. Your whole world can change in one day. Don’t think that you will have the opportunity to do it tomorrow, or next week. Say what you need to say – today! Do what you want to do – now! We live life as if people and opportunities will present themselves over and over – when we are ready for them – they very rarely do.
Live without waiting for everything to match your expectations, for everything to be perfect. People aren’t perfect. Life isn’t perfect. People come into your life – be open and non-judgemental toward them. Opportunities present themselves – take them. They might not match your expectations, but they could change your life.
If I face each day with an open mind, inviting it to bring what it will, I am often pleasantly surprised. I see incredible things, I meet unexpected people and I’m at peace with the moment. As I sit here, writing, I have Vivaldi playing, loudly, and I am happy… for the simplicity of my life, the ability to enjoy the music, and be in this magical moment of my life.